Pico you are right and wrong, The career change is important because I need work and money,cant live of my savings or stand still, I like to improve my situation . I can do it Its not as difficult as a career change I made after my recoveery from the accident in 1990. I am excited and up for it, no the problem is much deeper than that , merit and capability do not always help people get on in life , one needs luck and other ephemoral qualities, I am as much at war with myself half the time as i am with the struggle to exist and compete in life with other people , I dont need enemies as the worst one I have is me.
Coming out , oh thats easy , but what is it !! oh thats easy its peace of mind mate, peace of mind, never had it , not with anything I ever did , I just have to keep diverting myself all the time from the craziness of it all. Bikes have been one of the best diversions for 35 years .
I am weak and strong , brave and a coward, clever and stupid , inspired and pathetic, wise and crazy all in competition for my soul all at the same time, my close friends and family think I am goos and wise and funny , my work and business partners think I am smart and hard working with a tangental way af solvimg problems , all think I am a little crazy in a mostly good way.
Its almost like I am running from something I cant see to nowhere in particular , like a cancer at the heart of my thinking and feeling . I agree I am a proven survivor but I want to cure the malaise in my soul.Wherever I am I always want to be somewhere e;se ,
Everybody gets the Black dog , all u guys get ups and downs in life, and we take it on the chin and carry on ,
Feel free guys , we might all learn something here.
Pico where do U live , I hope to havere a good laugh with u one day.
Azoulay I am back from Manila on 5th of August and would gladly meet u in Bangers for a bit of technical exploration.
jerry