Fallibilities / Funnies / Stuff Ups..........
- Thread starter jonadda
- Start date
Gosh David, I can't imagine what happened there, but the bike sure looks familiar :roll: Could there possibly be a story forthcoming from our own Pikey? :wink:
Err, it went something like this - 5 riders started out under Con's leadership to explore some more "gentle" trails round the back of Mae Jo Uni and the reservoirs up there.
Con - Platinum 175 (Fool Injected)
Markus - XR250 (banged up shoulder)
Dave Silverhawk - DR250 (unflustered in any circumstance)
Ray - KLX250 (good natured punter)
Me - DRz400 (complete dirt f*ckwit)
After a few KM of fast fireroads with a bit of bulldust thrown in to keep you awake, Marcus decided that his recently injured shoulder was taking too much of a beating and departed, despite Con's comments of "it get's easier round the corner".
So, down to 4 and more ripping about until Con found the trailhead to a track he's recently found. Ooeer, Pikey absolutely loathes singletrack and here we are getting stuck in - bounce, slip, wobble but not too bad. Not fun but I'm staying upright. After a stop and a moan from me along the lines of "Con, you know I f*cking hate singletrack" and the reply of "don't worry, it get's easier round the corner", we crack on to be confronted by "the pit of death".
This baby is a hole that looks like a T-Rex took a bite out of the landscape and left a trail less than a metre wide on the right hand edge that butted up to a vertical dirt bank. One look at it and I knew my name was on that hole and I really did not want to experience it on my new (to me) DRz. So, tail firmly between my legs, I handed the bike over to Con who'd already ricochetted off the bank berm-like and had his Platinum on the other side. So, him, Dave and Ray all get across and I remount to Con's words "don't worry, it get's easier round the corner". OK, can't get worse I suppose. Wrong! 200m or so "round the corner" we are confronted with a 30ft "staircase" of loose rocks the size of babies heads. Con has already flogged the hapless Platinum up there, Dave is stopped partway up pondering and myself and Ray are at the bottom. Dave and I swap telepathic glances and both agree "no way". We are gentlemen trailriders, not The Muppets or a 105KG banzai Auzzie Platinum pilot! So, about face and back again to recross "the pit of death".
Dave first on the DR250 and he makes it but then dumps it amid flailing legs as it's tricky. Con's next on my bike (what? you think I'm gonna ride it???). He fires towards the little berm crossing whereupon the big yellow beast stalls and he dabs thin air and falls backwards into the hole! Luckily, no damage to bike or rider and equally luckily, there are 4 of us to manhandle the bike out, which took a lot of sweat and about 20 minutes. After that, lesson learned, the Platinum and KLX were walked across by me standing in the pit supporting them whilst the bikes were passed between guiding hands either side. After that, the beers were on me!
Lastly, a few days later, myself and Con went out again and he admitted that we were on the wrong trail that other day and he had in fact, not previously recce'd it!
Moral of the story, the phrase "don't worry, it get's easier round the corner" does not mean the same to all men. ;-)
Cheers,
Pikey.
Con - Platinum 175 (Fool Injected)
Markus - XR250 (banged up shoulder)
Dave Silverhawk - DR250 (unflustered in any circumstance)
Ray - KLX250 (good natured punter)
Me - DRz400 (complete dirt f*ckwit)
After a few KM of fast fireroads with a bit of bulldust thrown in to keep you awake, Marcus decided that his recently injured shoulder was taking too much of a beating and departed, despite Con's comments of "it get's easier round the corner".
So, down to 4 and more ripping about until Con found the trailhead to a track he's recently found. Ooeer, Pikey absolutely loathes singletrack and here we are getting stuck in - bounce, slip, wobble but not too bad. Not fun but I'm staying upright. After a stop and a moan from me along the lines of "Con, you know I f*cking hate singletrack" and the reply of "don't worry, it get's easier round the corner", we crack on to be confronted by "the pit of death".
This baby is a hole that looks like a T-Rex took a bite out of the landscape and left a trail less than a metre wide on the right hand edge that butted up to a vertical dirt bank. One look at it and I knew my name was on that hole and I really did not want to experience it on my new (to me) DRz. So, tail firmly between my legs, I handed the bike over to Con who'd already ricochetted off the bank berm-like and had his Platinum on the other side. So, him, Dave and Ray all get across and I remount to Con's words "don't worry, it get's easier round the corner". OK, can't get worse I suppose. Wrong! 200m or so "round the corner" we are confronted with a 30ft "staircase" of loose rocks the size of babies heads. Con has already flogged the hapless Platinum up there, Dave is stopped partway up pondering and myself and Ray are at the bottom. Dave and I swap telepathic glances and both agree "no way". We are gentlemen trailriders, not The Muppets or a 105KG banzai Auzzie Platinum pilot! So, about face and back again to recross "the pit of death".
Dave first on the DR250 and he makes it but then dumps it amid flailing legs as it's tricky. Con's next on my bike (what? you think I'm gonna ride it???). He fires towards the little berm crossing whereupon the big yellow beast stalls and he dabs thin air and falls backwards into the hole! Luckily, no damage to bike or rider and equally luckily, there are 4 of us to manhandle the bike out, which took a lot of sweat and about 20 minutes. After that, lesson learned, the Platinum and KLX were walked across by me standing in the pit supporting them whilst the bikes were passed between guiding hands either side. After that, the beers were on me!
Lastly, a few days later, myself and Con went out again and he admitted that we were on the wrong trail that other day and he had in fact, not previously recce'd it!
Moral of the story, the phrase "don't worry, it get's easier round the corner" does not mean the same to all men. ;-)
Cheers,
Pikey.
Pikey
Thanks for spilling the beans - made my lazy Sunday in Luang Prabang. Ha. Ha.
Now what's this about Silverhawk dumping the DR250 there as well - anyone got any photos of that one?
Agree on the
I actually missed it but he didn't dump it in "the pit of death", rather he catapulted across then lost control due to the gnarly terrain on the otherside. A rare occassion indeed and shame it wasn't caught on camera!
Have a Bagel Egger for me in Joma whilst you are in LPQ. ;-)
Cheers,
Pikey.
Spotted in Mae Sai at the Umporn Resort
Not in the Umporn Resort, but still in Mae Sai late at night in a pub I can't remember the name of..
couldn't quite work this one out, but I guess it's not to waste a drop?
Not in the Umporn Resort, but still in Mae Sai late at night in a pub I can't remember the name of..
couldn't quite work this one out, but I guess it's not to waste a drop?
An extract from the darwin awards
(September 2001, Virginia) I work in a motorcycle shop. We see many who have no business being behind two wheels. But the owner of a bike brought in for service really takes the cake.
The entire front end had been ripped off, which is an odd damage pattern. The owner offered the following tale.
He had allowed the motorcycle to sit idle for several months. When he attempted to start it again, the wait had drained the battery. Undeterred, he attempted to bump-start the bike. A manual-transmission vehicle rolling with sufficient speed, popped into second gear, will often start right up, and this is called a bump-start.
The owner lived at the top of a long hill. After a number of repeated and unsuccessful attempts to bump-start the bike, he was left with another problem: a stalled bike sitting at the bottom of a long incline.
The man called his girlfriend to bring her truck and tow the bike back up the hill. A length of rope was procured. One end of the rope was affixed to the truck's bumper, and the other was affixed to the waist of the bike owner "riding" the stalled motorcycle up the hill.
They set off, she in her truck and he on his bike. All was well until he chose to make one final attempt to bump-start the motorcycle. As soon as the clutch engaged, the engine turned into a brake. The bike stopped cold. The owner did not.
His girlfriend was blissfully unaware of what was happening behind her and proceeded to drive to his house, dragging him slowly behind her.
Despite his injuries, he is expected to recover.
(September 2001, Virginia) I work in a motorcycle shop. We see many who have no business being behind two wheels. But the owner of a bike brought in for service really takes the cake.
The entire front end had been ripped off, which is an odd damage pattern. The owner offered the following tale.
He had allowed the motorcycle to sit idle for several months. When he attempted to start it again, the wait had drained the battery. Undeterred, he attempted to bump-start the bike. A manual-transmission vehicle rolling with sufficient speed, popped into second gear, will often start right up, and this is called a bump-start.
The owner lived at the top of a long hill. After a number of repeated and unsuccessful attempts to bump-start the bike, he was left with another problem: a stalled bike sitting at the bottom of a long incline.
The man called his girlfriend to bring her truck and tow the bike back up the hill. A length of rope was procured. One end of the rope was affixed to the truck's bumper, and the other was affixed to the waist of the bike owner "riding" the stalled motorcycle up the hill.
They set off, she in her truck and he on his bike. All was well until he chose to make one final attempt to bump-start the motorcycle. As soon as the clutch engaged, the engine turned into a brake. The bike stopped cold. The owner did not.
His girlfriend was blissfully unaware of what was happening behind her and proceeded to drive to his house, dragging him slowly behind her.
Despite his injuries, he is expected to recover.
Another one from the Darwin Awards:
This guy pushed his motorcycle from the patio into his living room, where he began to clean the engine with some rags and a bowl of gasoline, all in the comfort of his own home. When he finished, he sat on the motorcycle and decided to give his bike a quick start and make sure everything was still OK. Unfortunately, the bike started in gear, and crashed through the glass patio door with him still clinging to the handlebars.
His wife had been working in the kitchen. She came running at the fearful sound, and found him crumpled on the patio, badly cut from the shards of broken glass. She called 911, and the paramedics carried the unfortunate man to the Emergency Room.
Later that afternoon, after many stitches had pulled her husband back together, the wife brought him home and put him to bed. She cleaned up the mess in the living room, and dumped the bowl of gasoline in the toilet.
Shortly thereafter, her husband woke up, lit a cigarette, and went into the bathroom for a much-needed relief break. He sat down and tossed the cigarette into the toilet, which promptly exploded because the wife had not flushed the gasoline away. The explosion blew the man through the bathroom door.
The wife heard a loud explosion and the terrible sound of her husband's screams. She ran into the hall and found her husband lying on the floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.
The same two paramedics were dispatched to the scene. They loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. One of them asked the wife how the injury had occurred. When she told them, they began laughing so hard that they dropped the stretcher, and broke the guy's collarbone.
Cheers,
Pikey.
This guy pushed his motorcycle from the patio into his living room, where he began to clean the engine with some rags and a bowl of gasoline, all in the comfort of his own home. When he finished, he sat on the motorcycle and decided to give his bike a quick start and make sure everything was still OK. Unfortunately, the bike started in gear, and crashed through the glass patio door with him still clinging to the handlebars.
His wife had been working in the kitchen. She came running at the fearful sound, and found him crumpled on the patio, badly cut from the shards of broken glass. She called 911, and the paramedics carried the unfortunate man to the Emergency Room.
Later that afternoon, after many stitches had pulled her husband back together, the wife brought him home and put him to bed. She cleaned up the mess in the living room, and dumped the bowl of gasoline in the toilet.
Shortly thereafter, her husband woke up, lit a cigarette, and went into the bathroom for a much-needed relief break. He sat down and tossed the cigarette into the toilet, which promptly exploded because the wife had not flushed the gasoline away. The explosion blew the man through the bathroom door.
The wife heard a loud explosion and the terrible sound of her husband's screams. She ran into the hall and found her husband lying on the floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.
The same two paramedics were dispatched to the scene. They loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. One of them asked the wife how the injury had occurred. When she told them, they began laughing so hard that they dropped the stretcher, and broke the guy's collarbone.
Cheers,
Pikey.
Jay
that is brilliant, but it wont solve the problem of stopping your bike front of your house, so i have similar and modifyed version of it, what was in use when door opener was still home.
abt 500meter from our house i usually use my mobile phone as a "remote" i call door opener "Unit" 1(One) signal only, that will tricker opener unit to open the door(in our case, slide) and it's open when im front of the house and i ride in directly, no stopping or waiting to door open, It also work with ALL mobile phones what has your number stored.
Only requiment is that opener "unit" need to have abt 30minute training and explanation how it should "function" when 1 (one) signla is coming from my phone to "Opener"Unit's" mobile phone, and dont forget to HIGHLIGHT that there is NO need to call back, JUST open the door and wait when im inside garage and then close the door. :wink:
THREE WISHES
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden
and a Biker are all walking together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out
of it.
'I will give each of you one wish, which is three
wishes in total', says the Genie.
The Canadian says, 'I am! a farmer and my son
will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada. '
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan ,Palestine , Iraq and Iran
so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians
can come into our precious land.'
POOF! ?gain, with the blink of the Genie's eye,
there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell
me more about this wall.'
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet
high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.'
The Biker sits down on his Harley , cracks a beer,
lights a cigar, smiles and says, 'Fill it with water.'
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden
and a Biker are all walking together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out
of it.
'I will give each of you one wish, which is three
wishes in total', says the Genie.
The Canadian says, 'I am! a farmer and my son
will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada. '
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan ,Palestine , Iraq and Iran
so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians
can come into our precious land.'
POOF! ?gain, with the blink of the Genie's eye,
there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell
me more about this wall.'
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet
high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.'
The Biker sits down on his Harley , cracks a beer,
lights a cigar, smiles and says, 'Fill it with water.'
Attachments
Beware the urinals at the Shell petrol station in Mae Chan.
As if you're in a hurry, like I was last week you will genuinely be splashing your boots.
Rhodie you were an hour behind me stopped at the same petrol station but fortunately did not need to visit the bathroom. Lucky man.
As if you're in a hurry, like I was last week you will genuinely be splashing your boots.
Rhodie you were an hour behind me stopped at the same petrol station but fortunately did not need to visit the bathroom. Lucky man.
Yesterday 29th August 2009, it's 5PM & a female farang rents an automatic scooter from Mr Mechanic.
In peak hour traffic she pulls out from the kerb into the traffic with full throttle. The bike flies straight across the road in between the cars, miraculously missing them all, and amazingly still with the female rider still on board.
The bike hits the kerb on the other side of the road & falls over.
The female rider is catapaulted off the bike, doing a somersault in mid-air & lands safely inthe canal, fortunately wearing a helmet.
We fish her out. Nothing broken, just grazes from the embankment on he inside of the canal.
She says what happened.... the reply: we think you gave it a bit too much throttle.
Amazing Thailand.
Just another day in the life of a rental shop owner......
In peak hour traffic she pulls out from the kerb into the traffic with full throttle. The bike flies straight across the road in between the cars, miraculously missing them all, and amazingly still with the female rider still on board.
The bike hits the kerb on the other side of the road & falls over.
The female rider is catapaulted off the bike, doing a somersault in mid-air & lands safely inthe canal, fortunately wearing a helmet.
We fish her out. Nothing broken, just grazes from the embankment on he inside of the canal.
She says what happened.... the reply: we think you gave it a bit too much throttle.
Amazing Thailand.
Just another day in the life of a rental shop owner......
No pics mate? ;-)
Maybe me and Tony should relocate the shop to a more "stuntable" location!
Actually, whilst we try to weed out the complete novices, we have had a couple of bullshitters leave the shop only to cease forward motion within about 10 feet courtesy of a parked car. Like you say "Just another day in the life of a rental shop owner......" and so long as nobody is hurt, it adds a bit of spice to often boring days.
Maybe me and Tony should relocate the shop to a more "stuntable" location!
Actually, whilst we try to weed out the complete novices, we have had a couple of bullshitters leave the shop only to cease forward motion within about 10 feet courtesy of a parked car. Like you say "Just another day in the life of a rental shop owner......" and so long as nobody is hurt, it adds a bit of spice to often boring days.
Still a teenager, I hid my 2nd bike. There was a trunk door of a VW Passat station wagon sitting on the wall besides the bike. The bike was on the main stand and locked.
I swung it off the main stand and one cylinder slammed onto my shin, the bike tilted and the window in the trunk door shattered with a loud bang.
Man, was I sore and embarrassed!
********
At Germany's biggest bike meeting on Sundays near Hagen, I almost fell off my Yamaha RD 350 F YPVS. There was sand at the entrance and I misjudge my braking. That would have been something, falling off at 10 kp/h in front of maybe 700 fellow bikers! :roll: They were clapping their hands and I heard dozens of cat calls
*********
On a long flight from Tokyo to LAX, I was washing myself when turbolence occured. I hurried putting my thin taylor made silk pants on and hurried back to my seat. Turns out I wore them inside out, zipper in the back. Trying to hide the necessary action under a blanket, I struggled for minutes getting them back on.
I wonder what the fellow passengers were thinking?!? :roll:
I swung it off the main stand and one cylinder slammed onto my shin, the bike tilted and the window in the trunk door shattered with a loud bang.
Man, was I sore and embarrassed!
********
At Germany's biggest bike meeting on Sundays near Hagen, I almost fell off my Yamaha RD 350 F YPVS. There was sand at the entrance and I misjudge my braking. That would have been something, falling off at 10 kp/h in front of maybe 700 fellow bikers! :roll: They were clapping their hands and I heard dozens of cat calls
*********
On a long flight from Tokyo to LAX, I was washing myself when turbolence occured. I hurried putting my thin taylor made silk pants on and hurried back to my seat. Turns out I wore them inside out, zipper in the back. Trying to hide the necessary action under a blanket, I struggled for minutes getting them back on.
I wonder what the fellow passengers were thinking?!? :roll:
It was an automatic Yamaha 4-stroke 125. Mother rode the bike up the street, no problems. Then back. There was a wire fence to the neighbor. Mother got off the bike and I grabbed it, opening the throttle. The bike moved forwards, scraping the fence at a narrow angle, then it moved out of my grasp and fell over. The fence had a 2 feet deep dent. Parts cost me over THB 5,000...
Do not grab the throttle on a running bike!
Do not grab the throttle on a running bike!
First time in a Thai house's bathroom. A 4" cockroach ran towards me and crawled up, inside my leg. I screamed, dropped my pants in 1 second and tried to kill the beast with my fists.
The host had said "take a bath". There was a basin filled with water, so I climbed into that, with my 100 kg displacing a lot of water. I managed it with bent knees, going in sideways.
later, the owners couldn't help laughing about my ordeal.
The host had said "take a bath". There was a basin filled with water, so I climbed into that, with my 100 kg displacing a lot of water. I managed it with bent knees, going in sideways.
later, the owners couldn't help laughing about my ordeal.
Driving a 1973 Ford F-250 truck with a 390 (6,4 Liter) V-8 engine near Landers, the road making a 90 degree bend. I went into neutral and then accidentally shifted into reverse.
BANG!
The engine stalled, me cursing and preparing to get towed.
But the truck would start and the transmission would work again.
The other day, on a bus, a driver was smoking the cluth while red-lining the engine. Q: what does it take to get a bus driver's licence in Thailand?
Or the replacement Songtaew driver hogging 2 lanes at once without any need, except insecurity because he cannot drive a pick up truck?
BANG!
The engine stalled, me cursing and preparing to get towed.
But the truck would start and the transmission would work again.
The other day, on a bus, a driver was smoking the cluth while red-lining the engine. Q: what does it take to get a bus driver's licence in Thailand?
Or the replacement Songtaew driver hogging 2 lanes at once without any need, except insecurity because he cannot drive a pick up truck?