Fallibilities / Funnies / Stuff Ups..........

[jonadda]

Getting in before fearless leader cocks up my story.
I decided to touch up some scratches on the frame of my shadow the other day, so i covered up all the shiney bits with news paper and rags and proceeded to spray, when i was doing around the side stand, part of the stand was in the way of where i needed to spray, so with one hand supporting the bike by the handle bars i kicked up the stand and continued to spray, I must have got too involved in the job and as i was leaning the bike back down I realised that i had'nt put the stand back down "TOO LATE" it had already passed the point of no return nailing me to the ground, the only thing saving me from a total crushing was the spray can which had lodged itself under the frame, discharging black paint every where, I called out to one of my staff for help but thier was nothing she could do to pick the bike back up and release me, until a passing fahrang came to my assistance, feeling pretty stupid i thanked him and finished off the job.
Thier is no point replying to this post because i have probably heard all the dumb arsed comments already.
John

 

[2Up Chiang Khong]

Your right John, no need to make a comment.

But all of us can fess up to somthing or other that is similar.

You ever come up to an intersection to make a U-Turn and while almost at a complete standstill you lay the bike down? And then while laying on the ground - with cars all around, you look up at your wife stading there looking down at you. She felt the bike going over and simply stepped off as it went. And do you think she had a Big Grin[][][]

Cheers - and I hope you get the paint cleaned off the pavement. Or did you find this as a cheap way to mark your own parking space?

David and Mai

 

[DavidFL]

Disagree, comments are well & truly needed & I'll be presenting mine live on Sunday during the F1 & MotoGP - just make sure you turn up to face the music.

But what about
The guy on an 850? T-boning some girls on a Dream in the disco car park over in Chiang Mai Land late one night...
And the guy giving out off-road lessons on Doi Suthep who dumped the 250 Baja all over himself in a deep rut?
Then there was someone with an 851 who knocked it off the side stand into the metal gate & dented the tank severely.....
And then there was a slightly inebriated F650 rider who slipped trying to park the bike at the ghouse in Pai.....

Davidfl
Keep The Power On

 

[DavidFL]

Actually I heard that John was indeed spray painting, but was distracted by the Relax massage girls, who live a mere 80 metres further up the soi, & were walking past on their way to work. In an effort to ascertain the true length of their legs he accidentally knocked the bike off the stand while "discreetly" groveling around a little too low....

Davidfl
Keep The Power On

 

[Ian Mc]

And don't forget the guy who tried to take out the side of a bus with his knee somewhere between Den Chai and Uttaradit!!

 

[DavidFL]

Ian
Yeah yeah, I thought we'd all forgotten about that one from 10 yrs ago - the bus won too I think, but I did indeed survive with a mere 100 stitches in the leg, a damaged ligament, & one slightly bruised bike (the ol 100 thou plus kms NV400SP.)
But for me the best one was a year later on the road to Lomsak & hitting that rock behind the pick up, falling into the rear wheel arch of the pick-up, then getting dragged down the road & spat out 100 metres further on with little damage.
Both the bike & i got dropped off at the Lomsak hospital by the pick up driver, who demanded 6,000 baht damages for a near invisible scratch. I had to call the police & they laughed at the driver & told me to pay just 300 baht. I got stitched up at the hospital - a mere 4 stitches in the right shoulder & proceeded to get a date with one of the local coffee shop singers on the way back from the hospital. It was a good night, but the bike was almost as bent as in the bus bingle.
Fortunately in those days David Lek was still fixing bikes perfectly, & the ol gold machine was back on the road & handling better than ever.
Now what about that 1100 rider dumping his biker on the turf at the Gymkhana Club............

Davidfl
Keep The Power On

 

[Ian Mc]

It was slippery.....But the crowd were impressed. No-one ever told me that cricket pitches weren't meant for ZZR's.

And then there was the sound of breaking fibreglass and a very kiwi "Ah shit" as an 851 (What? Again?) failed to stand up with out the use of a side stand outside the original Escape.

 

[jonadda]

The art of guaging leg lengths from using reference points on your motor cycle I thought was a closely guarded secret David? please dont disclose this information any more as I fear we will be flooded by all types of wierdos requesting our knowledge, and judging by some of the postings in this forum we may be faced with more request than we can handle. Further more if you even hint that we can accurately determine breat size just by the correct placement of the levers on the handle bars will certainly see us in some form of confrontation.
BE WARNED

 

[Tom Forde]

Now David, you know I wasn't slightly enibriated, I was totally PISSED!

It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you get there.

 

[SilverhawkUSA]

Okay John, Add me to the list.

Davidfl and I rode up a side road in the Maesa Valley saturday to check out a new viewpoint I had told him about. On the way up (quite steep but paved)we passed a villager who was obviously mentally handicaped (no joke) trying to manhandle down the mountain a two wheel cart loaded with firewood. Quite ingeniously he had a couple long logs sticking out the front to act as a brake when he tilted the cart and they dug into the road.

On the way back down I saw him stuck in a culvert on the side of the road trying his best to get the cart back on the road. Apparently he had been forced off by a large truck that also gave us trouble on the way up.

Being a good samaritan, mainly because my riding companion (Fon)was punching me in the ribs, I stopped to give him a hand. I parked the bike on the paved road, in gear, and felt it was secure even though we were on a fairly steep grade.

Just about the time we pulled his cart on to the road we heard that sickening "crunch" of fiberglass meeting concrete. As we looked down the hill and Davidfl looked up from the bottom, there lay the good ol' TDM on her side, wheels up!.

The villager helped me right the bike with a look in his eyes (at least the good eye) like he was about to suffer all the wrath of a falang. Obviously not his fault, but he did learn a few English words I am sure he never heard before that I directed at the bike and myself.

Of course David found the whole affair quite amusing and now it's off to the paint shop again!

Dave Early

Ever notice that "What the Heck!" is usually the right answer?

 

[Tom Forde]

Hey David, I still have photos of the first prang on the MHS loop if you want me to email them to you. Just to remind you what the TDM originally looked like!

It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you get there.

 

[back door alien]

Continuing from R1/GSXR for rent.
The bridge jumped out at me, what more can I say! Stupid place to put a bridge anyway!

As for Tuk Tuk's, no comment! Or the mad Farang who rode into the back of Ya's RCV400,last month, whilst it was parked, on the right hand side of the road!!!!!!!

Jules

 

[DavidFL]

Tom Forde wrote: Hey David, I still have photos of the first prang on the MHS loop if you want me to email them to you. Just to remind you what the TDM originally looked like!

It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you get there.

Tom found a pic from my own archives.
Note the big wide smile / grin on Silverhawk's face - he survived unmarked, so I reckon he's got good reason to be happy. But it's not something you'd want to try again & see if you could can get away with it a 2nd time. (Silverhawk I hope no offence for posting the pic.)

Davidfl
Keep The Power On

 

[DavidFL]

Not quite a stuff up, but take a look at the pic below.

Yep that's right, the left leg's in a bit of a deep hole, straight into the drain / sewer.

As I got off the BeeEm I almost put my foot in it, which may well have broken the ol leg, but as luck would have it I missed the hole.
I only saw the hole after I had dismounted from the bike & went to put the side stand up. I was lucky. The side stand could have gone in the hole, which might have brought even more laughter to my riding companion Silverhawk.

For the record, the hole is in the road, opposite Fine Thanks Pub in Chiang Rai. Watch out for it if you're up there parking your bike!

Davidfl
Keep The Power On

 

[Ian Mc]

Hey David,

I've often wondered. Does the "fl" mean "fearless leader", "fantastic
legend" or "****ing lunatic"?

Cheers mate. []

Ian.

 

[DavidFL]

[quote quote=Ian Mc]Hey David,

I've often wondered. Does the "fl" mean "fearless leader", "fantastic
legend" or "****ing lunatic"?

Cheers mate. []
Errh, the jury's still out on that one.
But when are we going for a ride again mate? I cant remember when the last time was that we did a ride out of town.

I know we've done a few between bar rides, but....

Make sure you have a melly clisamis

Davidfl
Keep The Power On

 

[Ian Mc]

Coming soon mate.....coming soon. Getting out of Saudi soon. Probably won't be able to find the ZZR under all the dust and I'll have to find a new home for the family of rats that have taken up residence in my helmet.

 

[SilverhawkUSA]

Davidfl-

Can't take offense at posting the picture, what happened, happened. Just hope some other footpeg draggers think about what the consequences were; 85,000 baht damages, a twisted ankle and a very deflated ego, but could have been a WHOLE LOT worse. Have fun but BE CAREFUL!

Dave Early

Ever notice that "What the Heck!" is usually the right answer?

 

[DavidFL]

Trying to have a quiet peaceful breakfast reading the papers at the Kafe.
I made the mistake of sitting between two tables, one with a couple of Irish men having a beer brekky & debating some complicated controversial subject, and the other table a Malaysian having a telephone argument with his Thai girlfriend, who kept ringing back & it got more heated each call.
What a beautiful start to the day I thought. It would be more peaceful sitting in a noisy tuk-tuk at Warorot market!

Davidfl
Keep The Power On

 

[Pikey]

Had a pretty grim day yesterday - whilst attempting to negotiate the Tha Phae/Chiang Moi U-turn, a lovely Thai lady decided it would be a smart move to try to nip up the insidein her D-Max pickup. Cue sound of metal on metal followed by the XJR hitting the deck . Minimal damage to the bike but I did manage to damage every panel on the LHS of the truck. Thanks a lot to Greg & Rob for hopping over from the Kafe to help out - appreciate it guys. Then today, still nursing my bruises, I get stung 13,000B for the pleasure of being knocked off. Welcome to Thailand......... ;-)

 

[DavidFL]

Tuesday 10th Jan 2006.
Fronted up at the Thai customs on the bridge at Nong Khai, preparing to go into Laos.
Whipped out the rego book for my Africa Twin smiling (smirking?) & handed it to the Thai customs officer.
After checking my passport & bike details he asked where was the permission from the owner to take the bike out.
My reply - I didn’t need any as I was the registered owner.
Well the book does not have your name it.
I looked at the book & shyte, he was right. I must have grabbed the wrong book from my desk prior to departure.
Could be a bit of an embarrassing predicament I thought, especially with Scotty 007 & Bobby Bender accompanying me & ready to pounce taking the piss out of me forever (not to mention BobS on the board).
Improvise I thought, & I asked them to look in the computer & check the records of my previous trip in November 2005. They could that see it was the same rider & exact same bike.
Ah yes, but cannot check Thai vehicle registration, only Laos vehicle coming in!! That’s a weird one if ever it was I thought, as from previous experiences they are all in the computer. Anyway not to worry, the customs officer took great pity on a deeply embarrassed FL & asked me to simply provide them with the engine nos & bike rego, & away I could go. No need to verify the nos even - I could not believe my luck. This was incredibly slack but also incredibly kind & I’ll never ever put shit on Thai border officials again! Indeed there are good & bad guys, but today it was a seriously good guy.
20 minutes later I was on the Laos side & buying chocolates for Miss Kamphaen in room 6…….
Aint life grand & a lot of fun I thought.

Davidfl
Keep The Power On

 

[Olly Hargreave]

Test Ride Tit

My Yammie 400XT rebuild didn't work out and I was looking for a new bike. Thought I'd try an antidote for menopause on Heinz's Gilera 650 — it had been decades since I'd ridden anything as large. Tom at Goodwill said he'd buy the bike as a hobby if he could afford it, and I thought it might work as a compromise town/road bike. I'd been waiting three days for the ride as Heinz fixed things up at Joe's.

Things went fine on Thaphae, Kotchasan, feeling the low gears, brakes, gently, as far as Chiang Mai Gate (less than 2 km from Joe's). Straight open road just past where Wualai splits off, no obstruction, no vehicles for 500m, pick up on left, PUT THE POWER ON , then test the brakes. The Gil hit the band, the pick-up slowed up for a kid hurrying a bicycle across the road. Damned if the Gil didn't go from under me faster than the knock of its piston — the kid ran to escape the Gil sliding towards him.

'Yeah, all brakes on big bikes are like that these days', said Joe, who had that 'what a ****ing idiot' look on his face. 'Sheiss' said Heinz as he looked at a cracked front faring and torn-off indicators before charging me for parts ex-Switzerland & six hours of Joe's time. He advised me that I might be better off with something smaller.

Ollie

 

[DavidFL]

quote:

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Originally posted by Olly Hargreave

Test Ride Tit

My Yammie 400XT rebuild didn't work out and I was looking for a new bike. Thought I'd try an antidote for menopause on Heinz's Gilera 650 — it had been decades since I'd ridden anything as large. Tom at Goodwill said he'd buy the bike as a hobby if he could afford it, and I thought it might work as a compromise town/road bike. I'd been waiting three days for the ride as Heinz fixed things up at Joe's.

Things went fine on Thaphae, Kotchasan, feeling the low gears, brakes, gently, as far as Chiang Mai Gate (less than 2 km from Joe's). Straight open road just past where Wualai splits off, no obstruction, no vehicles for 500m, pick up on left, PUT THE POWER ON , then test the brakes. The Gil hit the band, the pick-up slowed up for a kid hurrying a bicycle across the road. Damned if the Gil didn't go from under me faster than the knock of its piston — the kid ran to escape the Gil sliding towards him.

'Yeah, all brakes on big bikes are like that these days', said Joe, who had that 'what a ****ing idiot' look on his face. 'Sheiss' said Heinz as he looked at a cracked front faring and torn-off indicators before charging me for parts ex-Switzerland & six hours of Joe's time. He advised me that I might be better off with something smaller.

Ollie

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Ollie
Love the trip report mate - welcome to the GT Riders club; where we all ride & some of us are honest enough to admit dropping it now & then. So what's the next bike you're going to test ride?

"Laugh" coming down highway 13 from Luang Prabang yesterday, saw some white paint marks on the road from an accident - two motorcycles, "head on collision" on a straight piece of road. Must have been a bit of a mess I reckon & only Lao medical facilities available. Yuk! Anyone who rides in Laos & only has crashes in Thailand is lucky I reckon.

Davidfl
Keep The Power On

 

[Olly Hargreave]

Dave

That collision in Laos can't have been head on if the riders had no heads in the first place.

Before I test ride anything again I hope to go out with Art and follow him around on a couple of trips if he'll let me— he has at least a couple of LARGE machines in his yard — before I try and test ride anything bigger than a Honda Wave. Meanwhile the XT gets a somewhat chastened Ollie around. If ya hear of anything worth considering, preferably plated, gizza call.

 

[DavidFL]

quote:

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Originally posted by Olly Hargreave

Dave
Before I test ride anything again I hope to go out with Art and follow him around on a couple of trips if he'll let me

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Olly
It might be a while before you can follow Art around even. He's out of action with a broken collar bone, broken ankle, plus a couple of ribs!! And unbelievably he's still smiling.

Davidfl
Keep The Power On